Lost in Love

What happens when the one you love and trust with all of your heart, the one who supports you in all things needs support?  I am a soldier constantly ready for war to defend the people that I love in my life. BUT, I don’t do well with death and loss.  I never know what to say or do.  It is the rare time that I am at a loss for words. When my sister and ride or die called me, I was happy, expecting a jovial exchange of love or a silly conversation about of how crazy life is AND instead I hear, “Crow, I need to tell you something.”  Quiet, but confident that she and I would have to solve another one of life’s problems together, I listened bracing for another opportunity to stand up and be a leader and help fix something in our family.

The next few words crippled and floored me, “Crow, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.”  I lost it in tears for about 30 seconds until Sadie intervened and said, “Crow, I am going to be okay, I got this. Grandma, Bep, Dad and I prayed about it and I’m going to beat this.” I never felt more helpless in my life, but it was Sadie’s strength that inspired me to step up and be strong for her.  I had to; she has been an intercessor and source of strength for me my entire life.  When I gained my composure, I vowed to never let her see me like that again during this fight and I pledged to give her all I could to help her win this battle.  I prayed daily for God’s healing power, grace and mercy.

God has shown me signs and wonders that have strengthened my faith through the testimonies and experiences of my loved ones. I watched God heal my grandmother and bring her out of a near death experience. She will be 95 years young this year and when you see her, you would think she was ten to twenty years younger than she is.  AND then God healed Sadie from breast cancer. To God be the Glory! I have learned to trust God in EVERY situation, especially health situations.

Shane “Crow” Johnson